I wake from a deep dark sleep. I know I have been gone for so long.
Later, the gun will find us and
shatter this wall we have made for each other. I know not what I dreamed:
I’ve forgotten it all. In its place: black and white,
I’ve been tossing and turning for years,
Pillows, blankets, hopes are strewn around the room,
But I wanted to go back into this dark hole
In which I do not see the mess I’ve made. But I insomnia
Shakes me now. You were there in
My dream. I do not remember it,
I think, remembering is a blood letting that never ends…
And I weep and blink my eyes to
No avail. I sleep not, for everyone I love,
I am, is almost dead
Almost allowed to come up for air, which is not difficult,
Which is not allowed of anyone darker than day.
after Adrienne Rich